February 2012
16 posts
I smoked twice today. Once, on my way walking to Abby’s house to pick her up before school, and the second time walking to Abby’s house to hang out. I’m not addicted, and my lungs aren’t really that dirty, it’s just fun & I like it. It makes me happy and feel calmed, and like nothing bad is going to happen.
It’s nice that for once YOU actually thought about me.
You finally talked to me first after all of those days.
Ugh, I always convince myself that I still don’t like you, and it works usually.
But then when we have another conversation, I just can’t stop liking you.
Fuck man, I don’t wanna like you.
It’s not that I don’t like liking you, it’s just...
By the fact most of you chose followers over your REAL friends on here, thats just sad. It shows how much of a jerk you are, and by the fact you chose to be friends with all those conceited bitches on tumblr rather then your friends that were there for you from the start. & you try to act like were still friends, when in reality, you ignore all of your old friends, but only go to them when you...
It turned out that every friend I have had, if their name was Cody, bad ending usually happen. One Cody used me for followers, the other one got me too attached and then left me in the end. I don’t know, looks like a person named Cody probably isn’t a good friend for me.
fuck it, im having a cigarette tomorrow. so much stress today.
Sometimes I’ve always wondered if I died, if anyone would care. I’ve always wondered if I impacted anyones life.
I don’t know, this is just a thought. It’d be nice if someone told me how much I mean to them.
And sometimes, I do, actually want to kill myself for the most stupid reasons, but their the reasons that haunt me the most.
My life would suck if the people I write about on this blog, find this blog. Like my life would actually suck ass. Ugh idk man, this is something I do like everyday, this makes me who I am. My thoughts, these are my inner thoughts. My emotions, and the things I usually think about constantly. I don’t know, it’s just me. In my head.
Wow, you became the biggest slut I’ve ever known. Stop messing around with guys hearts, you just play with them and say you love them when all you do, is screw around with them.
Once again. You’re constantly pushing me away again.
You had always put people before me, and I didn’t want to believe it because you said you wouldn’t.
You fucking lied, to my face.
I’m never talking to you again, you caused EVERYTHING that i didnt want to happen to happen.
You’re the worst friend I could ever had.
You brought me down, just like you did to your...
I’m tired of this body.
This look, this size, this potential.
I hate being so uncomfortable, worrying how i look and how fat I am.
I just want to be happy with myself.
I want to feel comfortable in my own skin, just for once in my life.
Maybe one day your own eyes will open up & realize everything. Isn’t it obvious, yet? It’s been almost two years.
Today I didn’t have a cigarette. I’m so proud of myself, because usually in the morning I will smoke on my way to Abby’s house, but this morning I didn’t feel like smoking. Thank god, because almost so far every day I would be craving one, and for once, now I didn’t. So I can control myself, I so happy~ :-)
I don’t know, it seems as if I’m not as important to you anymore. We never really talk as much as I would like too, but you only talk to me when I talk to you first. You complain to me sometimes how we don’t talk a lot, it’s because I don’t wanna seem annoying. I always feel as if I annoy you all the time, so I just wanted to see how long it would take for you to at...
I find it funny how you try so hard to make me feel uncomfortable.
Like seriously you’re on my basketball team.
Do you seriously want to act like you’re intimidating?
You’re not.
You do stupid shit behind my back, and try to make people laugh.
I told you, you’re a bitch.
And people don’t like you because of that.
I hope that one day you’ll realize how...
By the fact you said you would change, you never did. You don’t realize how much shit you’ve put me through, and how many hours I’ve cried because of you. You said you’ll try. You said you’ll improve. & You said I mean so much to you. I’m sad to say that, it doesn’t feel as if I’m shit to you anymore.
You are addicted to drugs, You had sex...
I’ve had the biggest crush on you.
When I first met you, I didn’t really like you, like that.
I thought you were really funny, and just a fun guy to be around with.
Ever since I’ve gotten to know you more, and more, I fell for you.
You make me feel as if I’m the only person in your life.
You make me feel as if I’m yours.
Every time I’m with you, or talk to...